dolfinrider07

Melissa

18 Watchers454 Deviations

7.5K

Pageviews

Latest Deviations

See all

Go around again! by dolfinrider07, literature

Safe Harbor by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Safe Harbor

Burnt out. Broken down. Nerves exposed and raw, ready to spark off at the slightest brush; not even a direct touch. Tears are constantly welling up, Though I refuse to let them drop. Frustration and fear hand in hand, Constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop! Then you take me in your arms; the dam breaks. I can cry, I can breathe… I am raw and numb and I ache, but I can close my eyes and it all fades away. I still don’t know what’s coming, or how things will work out. But I have my anchor now. I won’t be washed away anymore. I no longer fear the storm.

Memoirs of a Silent Expression by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Memoirs of a Silent Expression

I hide away my true thoughts, conceal them from the world. They pile up a jumbled mess, until I unleash this ink on a page. Stroke by stroke and word by word, I let them linger here. The madness fades, my smile falls back into place. You'd never know how deep down my rabbit hole goes if you never read these... Leftover memoirs of a silent (silenced) expression.

Pressure by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Pressure

To be perfect. To live, to laugh, to love. To work, To clean, to be strong but unseen. So much pressure from every direction I fear I must crack, sink, drown... Something! Just to let off the pressure building up and threatening to explode! No! No... deep breaths. Let it in, let it out, let it go! But, under the surface... "Pressure like a drip drip drip that'll never stop... No cracks, no breaks, no mistakes, No pressure!"

Grief by dolfinrider07, literature

Fading by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Fading

Spinning around, spinning, spinning, spinning. The thump of the washing machine startles me from my stare. My thoughts have run away, taking me with them again. It happens much more frequently now, since I've been left alone. Nothing holds my attention anymore, it's like the world is gray. No colors or bright spots to try and hold my attention. I guess I should just... Maybe I could... I think... I... What was I doing again?

Spinning Top by dolfinrider07, literature

Writer's Dilemna by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Writer's Dilemna

This looks like the perfect spot, She thought as she glanced around. A little wind with a couple of trees, and not one single person to bother me... For how can words fill a page, when other prattle only their own words? Only with lead and ink in hand, Do I truly get a say. Everyone else listens just to speak! But my whispers require no response. So they'd rather shout their own nonsense, Than hear my quiet thoughts. Yes, this place is quite perfect, she echoed her first thought. But, even as that echo faded, It was all for naught.

Musical Melody by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Musical Melody

The Angel of Music sings songs in my head, the Angel of Music sings songs in my head... Come what may, I will love you until my dying Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear. five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes, how do you measure, measure a year? Phantom faces at the window, Phantom shadows on the floor; There's a grief that can't be spoken, and there's a pain goes on and on. He had it coming, he only had himself to blame. If you'd've been there, if you'd've seen it, I bet you you would have done the same. It's so easy to leave me all alone with the memory, o

Internal Struggle by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Internal Struggle

My inner child is a poor substitute for the angel I was. My inner demon is far stronger than the memories, and I'm sinking faster into the Hell that is the adult realm. Fairytales all have happy endings to their stories, Folklore all have their life lessons to be learned. So why does Disney focus on hope instead of Life? On and on I struggle to find my promised prince, but only find villains wearing disguises instead. More pain to feed the demon slowly eating me away. My inner child's hope the only thing keeping me sustained.

See All

Intro to Me

Two-Way Mirror by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Two-Way Mirror

Lost in my reflection, face pale as the moon. What more is there to me than this mask I wear? No one knows my secrets; no, not even me. Only this face, this haunting face, staring back at me. Her eyes mock me, daggers in my heart. A fire burning deep inside her, but I can't feel its warmth. What more to me is there than this pale mask? I must discover her secrets and claim them as my own, or else she's not the mask I think I am wearing; I am the mask she dons.

Memoirs of a Silent Expression by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Memoirs of a Silent Expression

Breaking Silence, Breaking Me by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Breaking Silence, Breaking Me

There she is again, That face in the mirror I hate to see. I recognize her From long ago; I thought her long gone. She is the devil inside, She is the one that haunts My waking nightmares. I want to banish her Far away again, But she won’t leave me. She is the one that Pokes and prods; Refuses to leave things alone. I can feel her glee; Things unraveling deep Inside of me. My perfect world, Falling to black, Because she’s back. Crush her spirit? Steal my soul; My heart is shattered. She stares through My dry eyes At the ruins of my life. Silently, Trapped inside, I weep.

Emotions Fading to Black by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Emotions Fading to Black

There is a darkness in me yet, an emptiness took hold. Hiding far beneath the surface, fed on wishes and grown bold. It waits for me to dream once more, and snatches them away whole. Only tears leave stars in my eyes, my heart grows dead and cold. There’s nothing left for me to wish, there’s nothing I dare dream. With all my emotions only skin deep, Nothing I feel is as it seems. Perhaps now I’ll starve it out, perhaps it will slowly die. Perhaps with nothing else left, it shall feast on my mind. I feel the sanity stripping away, but what else can I choose? Let it eat my dreams, my wishes, or my emotions as it grows?

October Troubles by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

October Troubles

There's a chill in the air, echoed to my soul. An emptiness deep inside, from pieces I never saw lost, but are gone all the same. And with my love for me, went my love for you. Too much of me... You wanted too much. I gave, and gave, and you took it all. Until there's nothing left. Nothing left of me, nothing left for you. Shattered mirrors of my soul reveal the emptiness beneath. It's time to fill the space back up again. Time to learn to love again, but only love for me. I will never again love you.

Fire in my Soul by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Fire in my Soul

Your lips, aflame. Your touch scalding hot. Your very being burns, baby, with the fire of your passion. Your eyes, so bright. Your knowing smile. I'm caught up in your blaze with no way to put it out. Slow down, let the flame breathe; Or this brilliant red flower will wilt to embers in no time at all. Don't rush this feeling into anything more, Or this relationship will be over before the first log turns to ash. Yet for all I want us to slow down, I can't keep from wanting this flame to burn higher, Brighter, And I can't get the intensity of your flame out of my mind.

Featured Gallery

See all

Pressure by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Pressure

Grief by dolfinrider07, literature

Fading by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Fading

Spinning Top by dolfinrider07, literature

Writer's Dilemna by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Writer's Dilemna

Musical Melody by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Musical Melody

Internal Struggle by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Internal Struggle

So Over It by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

So Over It

Rage. An inner flame. Burning brightly, Hot enough to sear. A careless word the spark to ignite; now the smoke's thick enough to choke me. I can't get the words out. Tears trailing down my cheeks, as I struggle to speak. You think that I'm weak, but I'm trying to hold back, to not go on the attack. So turn and walk away, before I am consumed. This fire raging inside wants to see you die. You're running out of time...

Burn the Town Down by dolfinrider07, literature

Overwhelming Relief by dolfinrider07, literature

Literature

Overwhelming Relief

An overwhelming flood, the gates are wide open now. The dam is gone, taken by the tidal waters as they spill back into once-dry chasms. The tears flow steadily down, rivers of pain washing away years of self-depreciation and doubt. I can forgive now. An epiphany of enlightenment that strikes me wordless, even as I scream my relief. I don't have to be the victim. I don't have to be in pain... I can let it all go, and just BE, again.

Watchers 18

See all

AvidShark

kashibi

senob44

Tammara

DAL22-Creations

WeUsedToWait

matterand

happyvampyre

hectichailey6969

MoscaIsAFgt

MoonBear25

mpflies2

Collection

Favourites

See all

Day 1 [2019] by lealsfeels, literature

Literature

Day 1 [2019]

10. And after all that's been said and done, you're just a part of me I can't let go. I hope this is something I can repair. I hope it can turn into what it used to be. It still isn't and it's not even close and I wrote about this years ago and it needs to be more of a priority so I'm shifting focus and it will change this year. I miss what we had and I know time changes everything so let's work on changing it back towards what we had before. I miss you. I love you. Let's talk. 9. There's so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why. Thank you for who I have grown to be. Thank you for raising me to be my own person and to question th

Day One [2016-17] by lealsfeels, literature

Literature

Day One [2016-17]

10. I feel guilty about where we've settled. You're so important to me yet we rarely talk as we used to. I have all these words tangled under my tongue for you and I don't know how to sort them out. Or if I should. Or if I'd help. I'm so afraid of hurting you more and I wish I could fix all the wrongs I can see now, those I have caused and also those that I did not create but I understand or relate to because they're mine as well as yours. I am heavy lipped when it comes to us, short speeches about lighthearted things and I hope you realize that I love you always always always and that the distance is simply a factor of where we both ar

Watching 11

AvidShark

AsheRhyder

Pika-la-Cynique

Apofiss

daekazu

yuumei

Saimain

mpflies2

SimonSayzz

ElenaDudina

lealsfeels

About dolfinrider07

See all

Artist // Hobbyist // Literature

United States
Deviant for 16 years
She / Her

Badges

My Bio

random words pop into my head and spill onto paper in a semi-ordered form

note: none of my poems about violence/death are true and they are not to be taken literally. If you have a question about whether one is real or no, feel free to leave a comment asking.

Favourite style of art: The flow of words onto a page
Personal Quote: "Women don't think any differently than men do..." Tamora Pierce

Posts

See all

dolfinrider07

Feb 13, 2022

Update 2019-2022, long time coming

1 min read

Sorry I haven't done any work or checked in for quite a while... Life got really busy with new relationships and other things going on, and I really lost the muse to write for a while. I recently got married, and all of my attempts to write have turned out shallow and happy, so I gave up, but the recent loss of pets and other feelings overwhelming me has me trying to write again, so please be kind and understand I'm very out of practice while I try and get back in the flow of things!

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

dolfinrider07

Aug 18, 2019

Crazy Dreams

0 min read

Lately there's been a lot weighing on my mind... and it's giving me some really weird dreams, so I jotted them down on paper real quick what I could remember, but leaving that sort of thing lying around for anyone to stumble across is dangerous, so I'm putting them here instead... From January 9th, 2019:    A combination of Cinderella and Ella Enchanted: I start out in the big mansion, and my father tells me there's this big party tonight. He's some kind of big hotshot, so not only do I have to attend, but I'm being told I have to dress a certain way, look a certain way, and he makes me try on the gown for the evening in front of him to en

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

dolfinrider07

Jan 5, 2016

Just a little rant...

0 min read

(Wrote this sitting alone at work the other night when I was the only one in the building....finally got a second to post it.) I can't. I'm stuck here in this little world, with this little body and these little rules that ensnare, entrap, eviscerate my giant thoughts and hopes and dreams until allll that's left of me is this little shell. These shoulders cannot take the weight of the world that is being pressed down upon them, thrust into open hands that were reaching for more help, not more load. This heart is crumbling fast at the issues all around, but there is no fix that only one heart can give. Ears listen, eyes see, heart weeps, but

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

Profile Comments 67

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

Pajunen

Apr 3, 2015

Thanks for the

and llama.

Snapperz

Sep 30, 2013

Hey, thanks so much for the

, mate!

Please join me for a walk on the beach. We can listen to the waves crashing on the beach while sipping on some libations. Oh by the way, thank you so much for the fave. [link]

towards-eternity

Dec 18, 2011

thank you so much for the watch!!

DAL22-Creations

May 3, 2011

Thanx for the watch and here's one back

dolfinrider07

May 4, 2011

thanks!